Male Nudity on Television: I Wish I Lived in the UK

Nudity in television, movies and theatre productions is quite common, even in the United States. But only recently are males presented fully nude on a frequency that could come close to females. This is undoubtedly a result of more women being in control of production.

Television in Europe is more sexually progressive than in America--yeah, I know. Try to contain your shock and amazement. While U.S. television and film focus upon and glorify violence, European productions are slanted more towards sexuality and romance. Here in the land of Yankee Doodle, we like our penises disguised as pistols.

The U.K.'s Naked Elvis

"Naked Elvis" is a trivia game show that airs in the early morning hours in the U.K. It features a gorgeous female emcee and contestant panels that are often three women against three men, and played live in front of a mixed-gender viewing audience. The show features one score keeper, which is a different guy each show dressed with a campy Elvis wig, sideburns and sunglasses (no doubt to also hide his identity). During the game, points are scored for correct answers to trivia questions which result in the Elvis being required to remove an article of clothing. Can you believe it? Strip Jeopardy! The game progresses until he is left with just his briefs, at which time the next score requires him to remove them as well.

The camera does not blush at showing him pulling down his jockies and revealing his baby-maker on national television, with the contestants and audience cheering. The lovely emcee will often look at his manly equipment and make a funny comment, as happened in one show when the guy had an incredibly small penis and she made a joke about its size, resulting in hilarious laughter from the audience and contestants.

In all episodes, once stripped, Elvis remains completely naked for the duration of the show with him doing antics or standing facing the camera. The show is directed, produced and staffed predominantly by women. Its target audience is clearly the heterosexual female crowd.

Something for the Weekend

Another British program on free TV, "Something for the Weekend" again features a beautiful hostess, Denise van Outen, in a game show. With a woman at the helm, it often targets exposing the men. One feature of the program is "Private Dicks," in which five stage props looking sort of like file cabinets appear on stage. Behind each is a completely naked man. During the feature the hostess lowers the file cabinet drawer, exposing each man one-by-one from the knees to his waist, prominently displaying his frank-and-beans. The five drawers are eventually lowered until all five are dangling for the audience to view and compare. The female contestants are challenged to identify a certain guy by looking only at the private parts.

The show has been the target of some criticism, if you can imagine that. These critics are upset that while the ding-dongs are dangling on display, the hostess draws the attention of the camera and the audience to the various genitals and makes jokes about the size of the penis or balls, which then brings much laughter from the other women. These male critics, upset that men are displayed completely naked whereas women are never unclothed, claim that this show intentionally strips men naked to humiliate them in front of women.

These men are understandably upset, for men's television and film have always shown the utmost respect for women, always careful to present women as people and not objects or body parts. One would be hard-pressed to name a single men's television show or movie in which women were undressed while men remained fully clothed, or in which the display of female physical attributes for evaluation and comparison is the primary focus.

And for that matter, men should be flattered that we want to look at their ding-dongs anyway. Right?  Isn't that what we've been told for decades: "If we enjoy looking at your parts, it just proves that you have value! You have worth! If your parts are worthy of our attention, you're important!"